Is there someone who I can sing the happiest part of a song around, loud + with all the passion in me, without being judged? Because I mean it, and not in a silly way but in a 'my whole heart feels the joy of this' way that I'd feel too strange feeling around anyone—but what if the point of it all is to feel deeply even parts of songs meant for 16 year olds, and even more deeply, all the 'ordinary' and 'mundane,' made golden only by the spirit of the onlooker?
Or already golden, but unnoticed by anyone who lacks the spirit required to see it—the greatest and loneliest gift.
Here is a thought: is there anyone we can ever truly be this way around? Even in our closest relationships, we tend to be ourselves to the extent that the other person allows us to be. The question is: is there someone who also understands what it is to be fully human, feel deeply all things (even joy)
(maybe most of all, joy)?
I think of David + Jonathan in the Bible. Their covenant in the field. How great and extraordinary was their love and loyalty that it surpassed all things.
I have always wondered if someone will feel (or at least, understand) what it is that I feel going over the Manhattan bridge at night, staring at the skyline at night with my heart swelling in my chest. How the same feeling springs up at the best part of Sleeping Waves by Distant Dream, the same one that makes the hand reach for pen and paper—all the things I was created to not simply notice, but feel—is there someone to feel it with? Can we ever share these things with another person, or is there only what we experience, and all the misunderstanding outside of it?
Music, light, words, passion, faith, and all the things words don't exist for, in-between;
This is a prayer. Lately everything I write is a prayer.
